Sharing is Caring...

I have debated sharing this. Mostly because I don't want to be a crying wack-a-doo for the rest of my life, but life is about sharing the journey right? We aren't supposed to go it alone, we need each other. That is what life is all about. I have been listening to a few talks by Elder Holland over and over and over and they have really helped me during the last few months and especially last week. He says that God wants us to be strong as well as good. We can't control everything and those moments are for our growth. I know God wants me to be strong.

Last Monday night I found out I was pregnant. Tuesday morning it was confirmed again. I got my doctors appointment set for Friday after work and I had lost the baby by Thursday. Luckily my mom came up Thursday night. Jason had gone hunting Thursday morning. The doctor sent me to the hospital to get blood work done and to make sure it wasn't ectopic. I ended up getting sonograms and poked and prodded only to be told what I already knew. I had lost the baby very early on. As heart breaking and horrible this has been I am very lucky. I am very blessed that I lost it so early. I can't imagine loosing a baby further along. I don't know how I would handle that. I am also blessed because now it appears that there is a possibility of me actually getting pregnant, and as much as I had hoped it would stick I do know the Lord is looking out for me and eventually I am going to be blessed. Jason came home from his hunt early, Friday night late, I am very blessed to have such a loving and supportive husband.

Jason gave me a blessing last night. I was told I would have a family soon, that the Lord wants me to be strong and that I need to focus on my blessings. I had already restarted a gratitude journal, I was already on the right track. The key is going to be staying positive and hopeful while I wait. I am not sure how my family is coming but I am glad they are.

Rather than retreat and try to pretend this painful event didn't happen I come to you asking for your help. Please remember us in your prayers. We appreciate them and feel them help us. Also, my family is going to have a special fast for us on Sunday, if you would like to join us I would be very grateful. I am sorry I haven't been answering my phone much lately, I am getting better. It's just been hard to talk to people. I hope you will forgive me. :)

Thank you all for your love and support it means so very much. I love you all!

"Hope is critical to both faith and charity. When disobedience, disappointment, and procrastination erode faith, hope is there to uphold our faith. When frustration and impatience challenge charity, hope braces our resolve and urges us to care for our fellowmen even without expectation of reward. The brighter our hope, the greater our faith. The stronger our hope, the purer our charity."
--Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "The Infinite Power of Hope", Ensign, Nov 2008, 21–24

This makes me happy

Oh how I wish I could find someone to teach me how to play the uke better.

The highlight of my super bowl experience..

This pretty much sums up my time at a certain insurance company and well...pretty much most of my life. I am the lady wishing she were somewhere else, I honestly think I have had that actual daydream on several occasions, just with cuter shoes. Well and it's a given with the cry every time, cuz that's just how I roll! :)

This is really cool...

You have to read it! Click here!

I love Mike Rowe. He's the best.

My vintage find...

I love a deal! So here is my latest and I think it's awesome!



$25 more than I would usually spend on...well, anything, but it's so super cool and cheap for what it is.

I just need a super fancy place to wear it and some skinny jeans, (which for all intents and purposes I am not sure how I feel about) according to my friend. I think in the right outfit with some of my super cool feather hair pieces it could be a modern vintage feel.

These are my feather things, because apparently I think I need three thousand of them. O_o I am contemplating selling them but I am not sure they are up to par. They are pretty! I like making things it makes me feel better.



And then today I saw the Hugo looking out the window and it was funny to me.



There's a place for us. Somewhere a place for us. I don't know he just looks cool.
Yes I do have to doctor all my photos, mostly so you can't see how gross my couch is. We need a new one so bad.

I have a new barrage of herbs to try. We will see how they do. More than anything I just want to feel normal and be normal and maybe even get pregnant like a normal person does. That would be cool. I am fine with whatever way my family gets to me, I guess if you are the one who is pregnant you know you are more than likely getting a baby and you have more control. Maybe the lesson I am to learn from all of this is to relinquish a little control. Seems to be the theme for my life. Be still and know that I am God. I have a hard time being still, either way balance and happiness would be cool, yay herbs!

Pie time!

I made a lemon pie tonight!
Because...
1. My Rachel is here and she will help me eat it
2. It's been pie time for a while now
3. Pushing daisies has been canceled and I don't even get to see the last three episodes and it makes me bitter and hungry. O_o (these are my angry eyes)
4. I can
5. I like to make things. I wish I had more time to do things like that. Of course, I would be huge if I did, but I do like making things.

I also made a huge awesome purchase. Well hugely awesome, not huge. I found a vintage fur caplet in the thrift store today and it's awesome! I am quite excited about it and I think a photo shoot is going to be mandatory! It's so cool. I am quite happy about it. Of course, all things vintage make me happy.

Mr. Sun

Mr. Sun,SUN! Mr. Golden Sun, Please shine down on me! I am busy compiling pictures, deciding what to post and what not to post. Maybe I need a slide show. Regardless, it's been a pretty rough reintroduction back to real life. I am determined to prove myself a worthy adversary to the adversary and conquer the wackiness that has become my life. Wish me luck, prayers are even better.

So, in my quest to find joy in the small things, I would like to share this picture from the first night we got on our boat. I hoped it was an omen of the year to come, maybe it is, you just have to get through the clouds first. So to all of you fighting through the clouds of doubt, despair and fear...behold...



Hopefully it makes you smile too. The light will come and perhaps it will be smiling when it does. I hope so.