Heavy things, Heavy Heart...

Last Wednesday we took our little family to the temple grounds for Family Home Evening. We figured we had better take advantage of the nice weather while we had the chance. We took a blanket and our dinner and talked to our 2 year old about the day we took him to the temple to be sealed to us. We talked about getting married in that temple and how grateful we were to be a forever family. We watched brides and grooms getting their pictures taken, a group of young people descended upon some of the flower beds to do a service project and Sam ran through the puddles the sprinklers left on the sidewalk.

Over the last few weeks my heart has been very heavy. I have been following the trial of Dr. Gosnell. He is an abortion doctor who is charged with murder. Not only of babies born alive and then killed but also for at least one woman dying in his dirty disgusting office. I can't read a full article without getting sick to my stomach. The fix? The political powers that be are pushing for fewer regulations. I have cried myself to sleep at night. I wish I could unread some of what I have read. It's effected me deeply. Some of the babies that survived the abortion and then were killed were further along than my twins were when they were born. I was told this was one nut job, but it's not only the methods he used which were appalling, it's the fact that babies this far along are considered a mass of tissue, nothing but a fetus. Completely and utterly devalued. Not that, that excuses abortion in any stage, but after a four month stay in the NICU with my own preemies, my heart hurts for these babies. Babies surviving an abortion being left in a shoe box for twenty minutes before they are finished off. Painful and slow methods before they are born. Talk about an attack on the family. My heart ached for the choices those millions of babies would never have the opportunity to make. My heart ached for the women who felt they had no other option. But mostly, I couldn't believe my own apathy on the issue. I have always known I was against abortion, but I am not doing anything about it. How could we have let it get this far? The new push is going to be for after birth abortions because the risk of the mother being impaled by bone fragments or having complications due to the doctor having a hard time removing all of the baby, something called free floating head. Seriously? What have we become?

As we walked the grounds and looked at the towering hollyhocks we came to the front of the visitor's center. The boy shreiked with joy, he had spotted the large statue of Christ, arms outstretched welcoming all who would come in. "Sheshus" he said and pointed, "I excited!" We strolled our giant stroller through the doors and were greeted by the sister missionaries. There is a room off to the side, usually when we go it's Christmas time and it is full of nativity scenes from all over the world, all different. This time it was art work depicting the life of Christ or the artists' views of how Christ is in our lives now. One piece just struck me to the bone. I am not even sure if I can explain just why. Maybe the only way to explain it was that it was full of truth to me, and it reminded me of who is in charge. I felt a warm rush of peace. I know my options are limited at this time, but I can't sit idly by. If any of you have been inactively against abortion, as I have been, I invite you to get active. We can find a way to try to help.What's the quote, The best way for evil to win is for good men to do nothing? Or something like that? Or this...We may not be able to do much, but we can do something.

The Only Thing Necessary for the Triumph of Evil is that Good Men Do Nothing

It says:

I am NOT the experience nor actions of my parents

It matters not how I became,

but that I AM.

I AM courage

I AM compassion

I AM hope

I AM strong...I AM here

You cannot define me as I CHOOSE who I become.

I AM THE FUTURE.

- Christina Rankin

I am so grateful that the boy's birth mother didn't abort him. I stayed with her at the hospital for three days and watched her agonize over her decision, I watched her heart break over and over again. Mine broke with hers while it rejoiced at the opportunity I was given. He is truly such a joy. I am so grateful for the staff at TMC and at Graham county regional for taking care of my 28 week preemies. I am so grateful they survived and bring me so much joy to this day. And mostly I am grateful for the knowledge I have that families go on. That those babies are safe and happy even if they were not given the opportunities of life that so many of us are afforded. I am thankful for my savior and the plan that he has for us. I am thankful that he can lighten my heavy heart. Don't take anything for granted, live your life with joy for all of those who never had the opportunity to, I know I am going to try to. Value your children, love them with reckless abandon. The darker the shadow, the brighter the light. Let's be that light. 
See more photography by Helen Thomas Robson here


 Arizona Right to Life

 An article that is good and will not give you nightmares:
http://www.lifenews.com/2013/02/04/why-my-support-for-abortion-was-based-on-love-and-lies/
"I realized in that moment that perfectly good, well-meaning people—people like me—can support gravely evil things through the power of lies. From my own experience, I knew how the Greeks, the Romans, and people in every other society could put themselves into a mental state that they could leave a newborn child to die: The very real pressures of life—“We can’t afford another baby,” “There’s no dowry for another girl,” “This disability would overwhelm us”—left them susceptible to that oldest of temptations: To dehumanize other human beings. Though the circumstances were different, it was the same process that had happened with me, with the concurring Supreme Court justices in Stenberg v. Carhart, the abortion doctors, the entire pro-choice movement, and anyone else who’s ever been tempted to dehumanize inconvenient people."

*PS, this is my heart and soul please don't start some lame political argument. That would be my luck, the one post that gets comments and it's haters...