Can you stand more of me?

I have decided that the lovely Jill is right. I over think too much. I have all the tools I need to be as awesome as I am in my head so why not just go with it right? So that's the plan. I think the real need here is just to be more connected to my camera.

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Today my muppet dog escaped. I see other dogs who look to be the same caliber as my dog and yet tiny little fences keep them in.  I fear my dog, like his mother, has a strong sense of independence and is constantly pushing himself to be free.  Stupid dog. On the plus side, his year long stint at my parents has left us with a different dog.  He looked like a refugee after dealing with their giant Bernese Mountain dog. He came when I called and that, my friends, is a victory.

The other awesome thing my dogs have been up to is digging up poisonous toads and barking at them and biting at them. Fun! Any ideas on how to evict said poisonous toads from ones yard? Yesterday my attack Russell tried to kill a cat that was not ours. The cat sat in the basement window for a good 45 minuets after the episode looking terrified, so that cat may have found a new home. Sorry cat, but not that sorry.

They have been busy and making me think that maybe we cannot have dogs until we are settled. Which I thought we were, but has not been the case. It makes me sad though because they are my babies. When you can't have babies, dogs seem to be the natural choice. So getting rid of them is really a sad thought, but chasing them through town is a sad thought too. Why must they be so sure the grass is greener on the other side?

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I escaped the basement. It's supposed to get cold again, so I decided to fully embrace the warmth of today. We walked to the post office, and then the boy and I went to a little antique shop around the corner. We met a cute older couple out walking. The man told me he was taking his wife out because she had hip surgery and needed to get out, he wanted her to get better. She was wearing socks on her hands because they were cold. I wish I knew who they were, I want to leave hand warmers on her porch for her. She commented about how cute my shoes were as we walked away. Maybe I can find her. Grandma might know them.I am totally planning hand warmers, I bet she'd use them, they have to be better than socks.

The antique store was really cute. One of the better ones I have been in. I really enjoyed it and the lady who owns it is so nice. I will probably go visit again, and if you come to visit me you will have to come and see. So totally come and visit me you guys, OK? Check ahead of time though because we are a family in constant motion. I think I am getting motion sickness. I AM sick of moving.

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The boo bear is still growing teeth and that is making him sleep longer (yay!).  He is really grumpy though too. (Booo!) Either way he is totally adorable.

I totally missed a picture of the toad, it was too gross and I wasn't expecting them to have dug up something that fat and moving. Sorry friends, maybe I can catch the next toad. Sam I am is way cuter than a toad and when he moves he doesn't freak me out, or have warts.

I did pick a few things up at the shoppe today.

Bye bye black bird net hat thingy. It's hard to get a picture of on my hair, maybe it needs to belong to someone blond or red.

Oh that I had found this before Christmas! I think I could've rocked it then. I love this one though. I knew it was mine as soon as I saw it. (See more stripes!)

Hooray adventure!

Can I be more me, than I am?

I am coming to the sad realization that as much as I may think that I want to be free to be me, maybe jeans and easy peasy lame shirts are me. I do heart stripes, so I am adding more of those, but maybe I am just not cut out to be the cute skirt and tights wearing person I fancy myself to be. The vintage hats are awesome but will I wear them? And should I? I think if my feet didn't hate me, I might be a whole lotta more cuter, because shoes make a difference, but pain makes more of a difference. At what point do you give in and say, "this is me."? I wear jeans everyday, I sit in a basement with a small child for most of that day and subsequently get nilla wafer goo and all manner of "stuffs" smeared on me. I have puppy dog slippers and I am not afraid to wear them! Do I give in, or do I fight to be a me that is a lot of work to be? These are the questions I come bearing today. January is not even over and I am rethinking this aspect of my betterment. I have decided, I need to have more adventures. I need to get out of the basement. Maybe I will be brave and wear my skirt and my floral tights. Maybe...goo'ed tights don't sound like much fun. Goo stops me from doing lots.

I realized today we have moved 5 times in 6 years. I think that seems excessive and should be stopped. Moving is the worst ever, I know I have mentioned this, but it seems worth repeating. Don't move, it's no fun. This public service announcement brought to you by a girl lurking in a basement.

I miss decorating, and my stuff. Oh man, looking at that makes me want to cry of cuteness. My house looks like an antler farm exploded and killed all the cuteness now. Sad day! We are going to get our stuff in Feb. I am excited. Not that I have anyplace for it, but it will be close and I can use bits and pieces, I think it will be therapeutic for me to decorate with my stuff again.


All manner of goo's come from this little monster I love so much. Just to be clear, I will be covered in goo everyday. He's worth it. I wouldn't trade the goo for anything.


This is me being me. Dog slippers and skull pants. All found on clearance. Clearance is me.

Now, what I know I am, is a mini van driving mom. Yes, I have one baby and we upgraded to a mini van because we are awesome. Really it's because we are doing in vitro and what if I have triplets. That would be scary, but at least I would have a van. So maybe by getting a van we will only have one or two and not three because we are so prepared.

I get to drive back to Tucson on Friday to get a shot I am three weeks late getting, that I do, in fact, posses! *throws confetti* Now I can ride in style, with cruise control! Woot! I really hope this in-vitro round goes better than the first. I think it is our last. It's just kind of been a frustrating little road travel, not that adoption was any kind of piece of cake. I don't know, myabe it won't be the last time, but for now I think we agree it is. All this to say, I really hope this works.

Here she is, I think her name shall be Cleo, because she is pale gold, which is like unto beige, which is like not cool and kinda lame, but I like it, merely for the fact that it doesn't look near as dirty as it is, and laziness is king around here. Why clean what doesn't look dirty? What does this have to do with being named Cleo, you may ask? The goldfish on Pinocchio is named Cleo. Duh.



She is pretty and leather and seat warmers are the bomb-diggity!




The little man is riding is style now! I can't believe all the space. I think I will sit in the back and watch movies with the boy. It's pretty nice to have space!

I leave you with these shots of my little boy in his awesome shirt of nerdom! Seriously, cutest shirt evah!





Teeth are the devil. Watching my little boy go through teething is making me think I should take better care of mine. It's got to be done.

Oh and as an aside, anybody out there have any tips on changing the mail email addy on blogger? I want to delete my old email but I only get my notifications there.

Dear 2011,

Back off!

Love,
Me

As much as I had hoped to write a nice post about how I was going to work really hard to live a life full of gratitude and giving myself permission to truly be myself and love every minute of it, it doesn't seem to be heading in that direction. I wanted to talk about how much I wanted to revel in every minute of motherhood. Especially before there are more, because I have heard it's hard to keep sane at that point. I wanted to do at least a picture of the week. I wanted to create and play my uke and really commit myself to being a better me.

Let's sum up what has actually happened shall we?

Day one, our dog tried to jump a fence and ripped his claw out of his paw. We tried to wrap it up but he limped more with the bandage than he did without. We packed up our stuff.

Day two: We loaded up our dogs and our junk and our baby and headed to our new home. I was singing banjo music as we pulled away, feeling like the Clampets all the way. Just needed Grandma out there on the roof in a rocking chair. Later dueling banjos came on my awesome pandora station and that made me happy. I later would flush my dad's car keys down Grandma's toilet. Luckily avoiding destroying her septic system. They were fished out by J and my Brother in Law who will never, ever, let me live it down. I screamed. I almost cried. Fun times.

Day three: Mostly just unpacking and trying to find places to put things, oh, and laundry. Laundry makes any day a bad day.

Day Four: Doubled over in pain from who knows what crying.

Day five: The boy grabs and tries to eat a scorpion. Jason saves him, but scares him to death in the process. He had to shake his had rigorously to make him drop it. We squished it three times but those crazy things just wont' squish. Finally he stopped twitching. I think he said with his last breath that he was sending an army of his brothers to avenge his death. I am pretty sure that is how scorpions work. So now I am totally paranoid, especially with the baby. Alarm on phone goes off, oh yeah, I have an appointment to get my shot in Tucson. Yay! This is the second shot in a series of three. Apparently I have to be on birth control in order to get pregnant. Don't ask me these people don't talk to me or let me know what is going on ever.

Day six: Drive to Tucson, find out they don't have the shot. (This happened last time too.) Tell me I just have to come back next week. That will be $25 co pay please. They keep asking me if I brought the medicine. Last I checked, you need a prescription to get medicine. I didn't know I could just waltz into a pharmacy and pick it up OR ELSE I WOULD HAVE! So I get go back next week. I go out side stop myself from crying because, have I mentioned, I am on birth control and it makes me the crazy crying lady of doom? Well it does, I am sure to make tons of friends in my new digs *rolls eyes*. I go back in and ask if I need a prescription or something. So and so is going to look into it. That's nice. I am not feeling hopeful at this point. So and so has been supposed to look into it like a month ago you know. I guess I will just jump in my car and wait anxiously for the next adventure to Tucson. I hate driving to Tucson.
Holding back tears I get in my car and the car alarm starts going off. Well the little key clicker thing doesn't work so some guy comes and tells me to use the clicker. Yeah dude, it's never worked and I am pretty sure it doesn't work after the toilet incident. Thanks for the tip though. I can't get the alarm to go off so I figure I will drive away. It has to stop once you are rolling away in it, right? Wrong. So I am driving on the street and cars are slowing way down and looking all around. I pulled into another parking lot. I called J and burst into tears. He is telling me to go back to the Dr's office and tell them I am not leaving until I get a shot. I tell him I cannot deal with this right now. I call my dad, I try to pull the fuse, no go. I look under the hood. Dad is telling me to look for something that doesn't belong and pull the wire. That's like telling me to defuse a bomb. I don't think you want me in there just pulling wires higgelty piggelty. So I think I know what it is, but all I can really deduce is it's on the driver side and my ears no longer want to hear things. So I drive the car to this car place. Praying it won't start blaring, it doesn't, it just keeps beeping at me. Dude at car place sends me to another place that sells car alarms. He tells me to talk to Paul. I talk to Paul, he comes out and kills the alarm. Thanks Paul. I go to Target and walk around to wind down and get ready for the 2.5 hour drive home. I can't wait to do this again next week. *bashes head into steering wheel*
I get some food at Ghetto fabulous A&W. Some kid in the back is walking around muttering to himself and the lady taking my order is really hard to hear and annoyed at me for asking her to repeat herself. Look lady I have been standing in front of a blaringly loud car alarm for a while now, give me a break and stop mumbling and tell the weird kid to stop talking to himself. I eat my food and get home. J took me to get a blizzard.

So in an effort to live a more grateful life. I would like to give a shout out to Ryan and Paul for helping a gal in the throws of an emotional breakdown. Paul didn't even charge me for it. Thanks Paul! Thanks J for the blizzard. It was needed. And thank you Cindy for watching the boy. I don't even want to know how horrible life would've been with him crying AND the car alarm never ceasing. I may have just driven into a wall. I am grateful I didn't. :)

And 2011 this is for you! I think Helen may be on to something here.



I was going to write a post about how this picture was a wonderful example of how you could disagree with Christmas and still be festive, but now I just dedicate it to you 2011 and give you a warning. You better back off dude, I am on birth control and I just may snap, or cry, or cry AND snap, and you don't want that. *stern preschool teacher eyes*

Sharing the Christmas love...

I am still alive! Isn't that wonderful news? I think so. I agree with this blog in which she states, moving "is nearly as stressful and futile as trying to run away from lava in swim fins." It really is just mostly comprised of stress. Is it really hard to move things? Not the hardest thing, but moving them and cleaning and then cleaning and moving them in, and just all the change and adjusting and continued travel whilst trying to do all of these things is a little overwhelming. Regardless, we have survived and managed to have a wonderful Christmas.
Here are some highlights.
The boy got to meet Santa!




I wonder if this gets him on the naughty list?

Stealing Santa's glasses is probably not the best idea. :) I was sort of hoping for a freak out meltdown picture of Christmas awesomeness, but he was totally cool with it. That's good too, it makes me happy my child can manage a jolly man in a red suit...for now.

Santa and I also got to meet the newest addition, Kylee.


We had the annual Christmas pageant, The boy was supposed to be a wise guy, but he was napping.
We had some rockin inn keepers...

And I do mean rockin, as in rockin the do.



This guy was running from me, so I had to prove I got him, and no, this is not the only picture I managed to snap! Muwahahahahahahahahaaaa!



They were Jim, Bob and I don't know. They had fun with it.



We had some great shepherds. Nose picking pictures not included. Your welcome. :)


And Joseph.

We had a fabulous angel Gabriel.


But I have to say my favorite would be these sweet little angels.

It makes me wonder and think, if we all didn't have angels fussing over us when we were so brand new. I am pretty sure our sweet savior did. Hopefully they were a little more gentle than these sweet girls, but the love is there.


Here is an awesome close up of The boy's gooey face. Your welcome. :)

I bet you didn't know I was related to Mary Poppins, but it's true.


We spent the better part of two days saying Goodbye to her as she sang "Let's go Fly a Kite" down the hall. Her mother had to tell her that Mary Poppins just sleeps up in the clouds but would come back tomorrow because she gets upset at the end of the movie. So the rest of the time, she would exclaim "I'm Back!" and we all had to be happy to see her. J tried to tell her Merry Christmas but she sternly reminded him her name was Mary Poppins, not Mary Christmas!



Funny thing is, this hat was not originally a Christmas present. Her Auntie was Mary Poppins for Halloween and she found the hat. She LOOOOOOOOOOOVES Mary Poppins. J found her today laying on the floor stroking her hat. How could her favorite Aunt say no? I love it when a kid falls in love with a character like that.

They got a super fantastic dress up box of joy from their Grandma. I have to tell you, my inner little girl was jealous. I would've loooooooooved that when I was a kid. The fairy wings and the hats and the dresses. It was pretty amazing.





Hoooray for super creative awesome Grandmas!

The boy got a rocking horse. He loves it!





We borrowed a hat out of the dress up box of glory, and Great Grandma bought him his super cute outfit.

Thank you everyone for your kindness and love and for a wonderful Christmas! We love you!

Maybe I will be less stressed and can manage to be a little more interesting next time, but you can't tell me I didn't have enough pictures this time!
Until next time Y'all!

*Steps onto her soap box*

WARNING: POTENTIALLY OFFENSIVE CONTENT IF YOU SO CHOOSE TO TAKE IT THAT WAY AND LIVE A MISERABLE OFFENDED LIFE.

*Blows into microphone*

Ahem,

I am not sure about people. Seriously, who are these people who have decided that no matter where they go and what they do they should never EVER have anything around them that they do not agree with? Who the heck made you so special? I have to deal with things that could potentially offend me everyday. The difference? I choose not to allow it to offend me. I choose happiness. Seriously who has time for this crap? Do I throw a tantrum when people smoke? No. Do I freak out in grocery stores and demand they remove cigarettes because I cannot stand the sight of them and blood is going to shoot out of my eyes if I look at them? No. I don't. Would I go to the Middle East and demand they stop ringing the bells that tell them when to pray because it does not fit into my beliefs? Of course not. The fact of the matter is, we live in a Christian country, and you know what? That's OK. Being offended by Christmas music is among the most idiotic things on the planet to be offended by and I am sick to death of the loud obnoxious minority being catered to. The reason it works? Because the rest of us have a life, the rest of us are live and let live kind of people. The rest of us just go on in our lives, we don't want to offend anybody, but let be serious here. Who the heck are they to take away all of our joy and Christmas spirit?

Costco had the gall to play Christmas music at Christmas time. Surely you heard about it, all of those people dying on the floors of Costco with blood leaking out of their ears. No? You didn't see that in the news? Weird, because the way these people act, that must be what is going on. Unless your head is going to explode and blood is going to shoot out of your ears I think it's time for you to put on your big girl (or boy as the case may be) panties and get over it. Costco is a privately owned business that also sells, Christmas trees, and ornaments, and *gasp* Nativity scenes. They have every right to play Christmas music, just like you have every right to be offended, you do not however, have the right to force them to stop playing the music they choose to play. Maybe you should go home and shop on-line with your non-Christmas music and give the rest of us break already. If your delicate constitution cannot handle it, maybe you should just stay in your house where you will be protected from the big bad world around you. Go ahead and do us a favor and protect yourself from the vicious, Ho ho ho, or a fa la lalalala that is just more than you can manage to deal with.

Back to Costco. A few weeks ago when we were in Costco we enjoyed the festive melodious sounds of Christmas music, this time it was gone because someone was offended. Tonight, Jason mentioned the lack of Christmas music to one of the workers, which in turn got people talking about it. The Costco workers even said that they missed the music. It made work and the shopping experience much more pleasant. We went and put our two cents in at the comment station there in Costco. One lady told us she would counter our complaint. Jason told her that was her right as an American, and it is, but I am pretty sure there are more of us than there are of her. We had about 5 others join us in our comment leaving Christmas music saving quest. The lady that did not appreciate the Christmas music did not leave a comment card.

So next time you are in Costco, maybe you could casually bring up the lack of Christmas music, strike up a conversation with the workers and then take whoever will go with you over to the comment table and join the cause. I am sick and tired of these squeaky wheels getting everything their way. I figure it's service to them, so that they can learn how to deal with the real world, in a mature and normal way. Think of it as therapy, not as offensive.

I am not a person who enjoys offending others, but for reals, get a life and get over it already! You live in a miraculous country that allows you the option to not celebrate Christmas, that's amazing and it was brought to you by a country of Christians so let us have our music and just be happy for Pete's sake!

This post brought to you by drool...

which was brought to you by these:



No, not his adorable dimple but those two little choppers on the bottom.

Ok and on a totally unrelated note, I had to sing in a recital, which made me want to cry, and I almost did. So since I was singing The Hills are Alive, I decided to put on the brightest happiest outfit I could conceive of. This is what I came up with.



So I may have just looked like a crazy person but, I figured maybe people would be dazzled by the colors they wouldn't really hear if I messed up.



The Family



And I have been a crocheting freak and this is but one of my projects that I have finished lately. Isn't he cute? Enjoy the picture because I can't get him to keep it on anymore. :( Sad day.

Oh and here is the fog in Williams, because you all know you were dying of curiosity. :)



The fog was thick we got out of it around 2:30 but only because we finally came off of the mountain. It was insane! Yay home! Now to move. Boo move. I have got to get a truck up to my house and rescue my stuff ASAP!

Oh yeah, I have a blog...

I find that I do not blog unless I have pictures, and pictures have a way of staying on my camera and not being downloaded lately. Who has time for that kind of stuff? So, I am just going to write and hope you all care enough to read, and even if you don't, this is for me and my family mostly anyway, so, there.

November was a crazy fantastic month for us. On the 10th the court declared us the official parents of the fabulous boy. That was amazing, but the next day on the 11th we took him to the Gila Valley Temple to be sealed to us, and that was the wonderful icing on a delicious cake that has taken a very long time to bake. It was really wonderful, it is always so wonderful to be in the temple with family. It's nice when you go as you should, but something about having a group of family with you just really drives it all home, and reminds you that you are lucky enough to be with these very people forever. The spirit was very strong and I bawled through the whole thing (You are shocked, I can tell.) We had joked before going, that the boy might be a little upset that he was sealed to us, it's not like he has any say, but the sealer told us that he was very aware of what was happening and the importance of it. He was so cute in his little white suit. I tried to time everything with grumpiness and food, but it still did not go according to plan. While we were in there with all of our family and friends waiting for the sealing to start, The boy decided he was hungry. Mind you, he had eaten only an hour before. Jason was up trying to hush him and rock him and make him happy with everyone watching. I had to run back to the brides room, Yeah, I got to get dressed in the brides room, and get another bottle. I didn't see it in all of the commotion but apparently the joy on the boy's face was evident as he saw that bottle. He's so funny.
I really do feel so incredibly blessed. I don't even know how all of this happened, but I do know that our Heavenly Father loves us and he is a God of miracles. Everything about this sweet little boy is a wonderful miracle and I feel so blessed to have been entrusted to be his mother. I hope I do OK. How amazing is it, that we get to be together forever? I will answer, super fantastically amazing!

I am going to use the pictures my super awesome cousin Jill took after the sealing. Thanks so much Jill for getting these.



The boy looks a little concerned about getting squished but, I am sure on the inside he is full of joy. :)

In other news, we are moving in with Grandma. I am excited and scared. I do not like starting over with new friends. I like the friends I have, I had a good thing going here. I had the Q to call up and go do with, and R stopping by and hanging out with me. I had the Shan helping me sew, life was good. It will be nice to have more space, and to have a fridge all of our own, and to have the time with family. I think mostly I am scared about making friends. I am awkward. Have you ever noticed the word awkward is awkward? It is. I am just not super good at small talk, I like to delve, I like to know what makes people tick and probably most people need more time, also, I am now on Depo. I get to have simulated menopause. (Did I mention I am not good at small talk? Over share much?) For the in-vitro process I get to go on this medication and I am only slightly worried it will make me a wacka-do. I have also had some not so neat experiences with moving into a new place when we first got married, and I know I just need to let it go, but I really would rather not have a repeat performance of that. It will all be OK, once we get there. Isn't moving the worst? It seriously makes me crazy.

We have been traveling a lot too. That has also made me a crazy person. In fact, we are leaving at 4 in the am to go to Flagstaff for the week. First of all burr and secondly, we just got home from Benson yesterday. Is it any wonder I am a crazy person who cannot seem to sleep anymore? Really? I am excited though, Jason is graduating from NAU and it's his birthday and I get to see J and I get to see M. Woooohooo! It should be fun. Hopefully I sleep and hopefully Sam is happy and good as ever, and hopefully we can come get some of my sorely missed stuff and hopefully we can get this moving thing underway. Living in the netherland of moving and moved is super special.

So, I am alive. You are a trooper if you have gotten through this, and if you live here and I am going there, I will miss you lots.

Love,
Me