The dichotomy of my life...

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Reverse psychology...

Once upon a time, many many years ago, we are talking Jr. High here, there lived a girl. This girl, like many others her age began to wear makeup. This girl made a vow, a staunch and firm and unshakeable vow, that none would see her without that makeup ever again. She had arrived. She was of age and by George, she was going to look her best ALWAYS. She was always careful not to touch her eyes, she dabbed at them when she cried. She took care to look her best. This girl also used to sleep on sponge rollers every night to combat her flat hair. She obsessed about her pasty white skin. She tried to combat "it all" with dignity and grace.
And then she had children...

Now, if she wears mascara it's all over her face because she forgot and rubbed her eyes vigorously. That's IF she wears mascara at all. Then she sees the whiskers and just whimpers...

I think in some ways I have come to a place of acceptance, at least, I hope I have. I will never accept the whiskers. I must fight them to the death! Do you ever get tired of hating on yourself? I think about my body and cringe, and yet, in my heart I know what a divine gift of freaking amazing glory it is. It really is. So, I have decided that I need to take care of it. Not because I hate it or wish it to change, although, when I take better care of it chances are I will like it better, but because it's a gift, and I don't want to be ungrateful. In all of it's lumpy, pasty, whiskery glory, it truly is a gift. I have to admit, in the darkest of my childless days, it got way too easy to hate it. Maybe it's time to, once again, accept and forgive and love.

I also want my little peanut posse to learn to love themselves too. I don't want to teach them to hate on something so wonderfully spectacular. They will learn to do that without me helping them right along that path of despair. So, I got to thinking, what if I tried my best to teach them a different path? A path of happiness and health and acceptance. I am not sure what that looks like. I am not even sure I can do it. I feel like hating on ourselves is what we do, but does it have to be? It's such a time sucking and joy sucking, soul sucking, and really just a generally unhelpful activity. Satan is a jerk.

I do this for them, and for me, but mostly for them. Wish me luck. I hope I can stay the course. I am now accepting encouragement and prayers that project get healthy is a success. I start officially on Monday. I am hoping to change my whole thought process and be victorious. *rocker pose*

A reception for a fairy princess...

It's such a relief to have this reception over. That being said, it was one of the most beautiful receptions I have ever seen, and I had a great time. It was good to see so many people. The kids were horribly grumpy but that didn't cramp our style. I think they are just so used to being at home the people and outdoors were a little much for them. The food was great. It was just a fun night. My uncle told me I was adorable, that can't be bad. So without further ado, I bring you the reception.

My one regret is for some reason I was too brain dead to go get one from the entry of the whole thing. Lame. 

The happy couple. She looked lovely. 

 I think Gracie inherited my "nobody cries alone" gene. Every time Sam cries she is right there with him.

The kids had a blast.

My little dapper dude and the cousins.

So, the husband read on life hacker that saying "yoga" in pictures rather than "cheese" results in a more natural smile...Life hacker lies.

I write the things...

I came across an old journal from college. I only read a page or two, but came to the conclusion that it was pretty much useless information and did not make me proud to be me.  It contains the details of two relationships that I really botched. Like, I have had some serious regrets over these over the years and not even that I wish for this to be the same or different, I just wish I had been better,  kinder. It's not my proudest moments there in that book.  So, as I am trying to journal again I am wondering what things will be of value to those who come after me? I try to think about what things I would like to know about my family.  I am not really sure specifically.  What do you  think? Do any of you have any journaling tips?

In the meantime, it's nice to have nice weather and no sickies for a whopping week. 

I guess you could say things didn't go as planned.

Phun with photography...

We took pics of my sister and her fiance tonight. I do enjoy it so.They are a photogenic pair. I am excited for them to get married.This was so fun, the light was perfect and my best friend came and bossed them around and I just snapped beautiful pictures, easy peasy. :)

Aren't they adorable?