Two weeks of roller coaster fun, or not so fun, yeah not fun...

Hi,
Ok, so I will just kind of type like a mad woman and answer questions later. Last week we were supposed to hear about a little girl we might have had the opportunity to adopt. We have not heard anything. We have called, not info. Communication becomes hard on a one way street, so I have been wondering if now that the time is here if the family is having a hard time dealing with the realities of life, which, I totally understand. I can't imagine giving up a baby I had been raising for over a year. I get it, but at the same time, could we communicate that? It's not exactly a pic nic to be told you are going to get to adopt a child, your dreams are going to come true and then just hear nothing. It's kind of tortuous. So last Sunday we got blessings from our bishop. They did not ring of happiness and light, basically it said we needed to buckle up for things not to go smoothly. Great. So I figure the not running smoothly is lack of information and I don't really know what to do about it. I am thinking maybe a letter. (this woman can talk and this way we can express our feelings and explain that we know this has got to be killing her...ect.)

So Tuesday my one friend up here and I went into town. We decided to stop by Downtown Flag. (This is a side story by the way,)We are walking around feeling poor when we come across and interesting store with a very interesting man who owns it. It's full of strange instruments. He has a magical musical bed. I took a ride on it. Basically you lay on this wooden bed thing with a cushion on it, and dude comes over and sits by it and strums it and sings. There is a tranquility triangle hanging over it made of copper plumbing pipe and crystals. I would call it an uncomfortable moment. My friends phone rang and she went outside. Thanks friend you rock! ;) So it's just me in this weird store with a strange but friendly man singing to me as I lay on this bed thing. The vibrations are supposed to do something, they felt weird to me, at first it was like I couldn't breathe weird hu? Unfortunately, I saw the tip jar for the magical musical bed after I took a ride. I wouldn't have done it if I had known, at the same time do you tip for crazy uncomfortable moments? I don't know. He was cool and the instruments were cool though. If you got a buck you might just try the magical musical bed, it makes your day much more interesting.

Tuesday on our way home I got a call from my magical musical friend Jessica. She heard about another baby and our information had been given to someone who knew more. This woman called me that night. I must have misunderstood her but I thought there was a very good shot that we could be parents by this weekend. So, dummy me, I stayed up all night naming her. Then in the morning found out that there was already a couple who wanted her and were planning on adopting her but we were next on the list. Well in my experience you don't drive hours and hours to go pick up a baby you are not ready to adopt. So, had kind of a crappy day. Wednesday was a tearful and sad day for me. Not that I don't think it's going to happen, but I would prefer this weekend as opposed to some unknown date in the hopefully near future. So, that's the story.

I thank you for your prayers. My mom and I both feel like our baby is on it's way soon, so do not feel your prayers are a lost cause. It's gonna hit one of these days and we can have a party! Today I cleaned my side yard. I killed a centipede and pulled out the bedazzled bike of goodness and light. It was a good day. I can't wait to enjoy my side yard. I need to make a porch swing holder type thing. Any tips?

Happy anniversary to us! Jason and I have been married for 5 years. As much as this infertility thing has really sucked, I do feel like Jason and I have become very close and have grown closer and better because of it. I am very blessed. He makes me laugh constantly, he will do anything for me, he calms me down. He gives me blessing on an almost constant basis lately. He just plain and simple rocks. I was going to write him a ukulele song but the side yard needed desperate attention. I also don't know about my song writing abilities and feel it might take me more than a day. I am not musically inclined.

Anyway, maybe this Summer I can ride around on my bedazzled bike of goodness and light and get some more stuff done. Maybe that's how I can look at it. I have more time to get some stuff done before the baby comes. I will make the most of it.

Thank you all for your prayers. I do know that I would be a blubbering wreck without your love and support. They are being answered in that I am not quite insane yet, and I thank you muchly...

Oh and I LOVE pandora. It's so cool. Ingrid Michaelson station it pretty much rocks.