Fun is spelled ER

My husband just told me he wanted to help me write this post so it didn't sound too bitter. I don't know what he's talking about.

Sunday I started to bleed. I wasn't too worried, I wasn't happy about it or not worried at all but the Dr. had mentioned that if they were to take me off of the progesterone shots cold turkey, people bleed a lot and it freaks them out. So, knowing the glories of my body, I kind of figured even with the weaning I would probably have some bleeding. It was more than I had had in the past though and the hubs looked pretty worried. After consulting with the Dr. we decided it may be worth it just to go and get an ultra-sound if only for peace of mind. My dear friends, remember this, the ER is not for peace of mind.

Off we went to the ER blissfully unaware of the torturous hell that awaited me. Ultra sound, how bad could it be? Another tip for any of you ER goers. If you are not hemorrhaging blood, or on the verge of death, a 10 minute wait time = 50 min. I think that's the official conversion.

So we got through triage and waited our "10 minutes". There was a poor man in a wheel chair that looked like he was in a lot of pain. They told him 10 minutes too, I thought he should probably get back before us, but we were first. They put us in our room and shut the door. The Dr. and two nurses came in and said hi talked to us, told us they were ordering an ultra sound and left. We sat there wondering where they were "ordering" it from. Philly? Maybe from New York? Maybe it was being flown in from Paris right then! J was hoping he would at least get a tracking number emailed to him after they ordered it so he could at least have an idea when it would get here.

I ask for water, and the nurse says, "let me ask and see if it is OK"

Hour later.

Grumpy ultra sound tech guy came in, looked at me and walked out. OK? That was weird.


In comes the Dr. "I understand you are refusing a foley?"

Me: *blink Blink* What's a foley?

Dr.: Nobody talked to you about it?

Me: Uh, no, what is a foley?

They made it sound like the only way to have an ultra sound was to have this foley that they spoke of. Folks, a foley is a catheter. So, being the naive girl that I am and trusting the medical professionals around me, I said, "I will do what I need to do."

In comes nurse Betty (That is her real name). I am starting to re-think this whole process. It seems to me the last time I needed an ultrasound in a hurry I just drank lots of water and all was well except for the needing to pee. I told her I didn't want it. She laughed and told me I was funny. O_o No, I really don't think I want it. On second thought I do refuse. So I ask her how bad is it?

"Have you ever been out and had one?"

"no"

Have you given birth?"

"no"

"Oh it's probably a 10. Open your legs and relax sweetie."

Uh no. Dear readers, you know that the pain scale only goes up to 10 right? We all know this. We decided nurse Betty would be a great "interrogator" for the CIA. With a smile: "This is only going to be the most excruciating thing you have ever felt, so there will be some pressure. Of course you can tell me all of your secrets and you won't have to go through this."


I was ready to do anything not to get that giant tube shoved up me. So after like 4 attempts and me going into a hysterical meltdown of fear and pain she gave up...AND brought me two bottles of water to start drinking. REALLY? Our first move is to shove a giant tube up a person, we go there BEFORE we try WATER?

I drink two 24 oz of water in about 20 minutes. I am sitting there shivering and shaking completely freaked out of my mind. I wondered if they were trying to ensure that I miscarried at this point. I wondered if we could just walk out. Peace of mind was not worth this.

Nurse Betty comes in and tells me she needs to draw my blood. She looks all over for a vein and decides she needs to call in the big guns, the lab tech. Grumpy ultra sound guy comes in, I inform him the catheter was a no go. *sigh* says the grumpy lab tech guy, "It's going to be like 1 and a half hours then if you are just drinking water."
"yup see you then" I take a swig.

I am still shaking uncontrollably. Lab Tech comes in and tries a few veins and then tells me.

"I can't get it if you keep shaking."

Really Lab tech, I don't really have control over that, nurse Betty over there traumatized me and I am just supposed to calm right back down? One thing I have noticed about medical professionals, is they don't really realize that the hunk of flesh they are shoving tubes up, and jamming needles into are people. I don't feel there is a whole lot of empathy. So dude gets my blood, it hurts a lot. Then they tell me they are going to check my HCG. Ummm..hello? I told you I was pregnant with twins, have been for 10 weeks now. Can't the ultra sound just confirm that fact?

Dude leaves, and I throw up about 10 gallons of water all over everywhere and J. He said it was like someone put their thumb over a garden hose and turned it on full blast. I am that awesome. I call the nurse. "Umm...I threw up all over the floor" Some girls come in to clean it up. Nurse Betty comes back in, again I am so funny and she wishes she knew me because I am so funny. At this point J and I had been pretty pleasant considering. J helped me laugh through it. I love him for that.
In comes grumpy ultra sound tech. He rolls me off the the ultra sound. I didn't tell him I threw up all the water.

Grumpy ultra sound tech guy wheels me to to the state of the art ultra sound machine. I would also like to take this time point out that I drank quite a bit of water before leaving for the ER, and I am pregnant, I am also pretty sure the catheter experience triggered my fight or flight response and all the pee is right there ready for grumpy ultra sound tech. I was probably ready to be ultra sounded before all the trauma began.

I lay down, I am looking at a poster of dolphins on the ceiling. I guess that is supposed to sooth me. I was stabbed in the arm multiple times, and I had a woman try to shove a large tube inside of me; but there is a picture of 2 dolphins frolicking in the vast ocean, so everything is better.

I can't really see the ultrasound so I ask, "Are they OK?" This is why I came here, this is all I wanted. Grumpy responds, "I can't diagnose anything." I lay there praying Jason can see and let me know if they look OK. J gives me a thumbs up. Relief. Back to the room I go. J says he went really fast but he thought he saw them moving. Good, good.

Dr comes in and tells me from what he can see it looks good. There are no tears in the placenta. I still have to wait for the grand hoohaw of dr's to look at it and let us know. So we wait. Meanwhile the Dr. is trying to reach my Dr. The grand hoohaw says the same, all looks OK and they even told us the heart rates. I wish I could remember. By this time, J and I are ready to leave, we are discussing where we will go eat, because we came in at 12:20 and it's like 4 or 5 by now. Dr. says we can go soon.

My Dr. calls back. He needs them to get my blood to check my blood type and my RH. Are you freaking kidding me? I haven't eaten, I haven't really had water since it spewed out of me. I have another melt down. "Do you know how many times it took them to get this blood? Please is there any other way?" I sob. I call my parents neither of them know my blood type. I was begging them not to do it. Can I get it done at my Dr. appt on Thursday? They don't miss my veins. I will be calmer. Please ANYTHING! The Dr. explains to me that it won't effect this pregnancy but if I have an RH problem and I get pregnant again it would cause a miscarriage. This will tell you how delirious I was at this point. I said through my sobs, "It has taken us 6 years and two rounds of inVitro to get these! I don't really think it's going to be an issue! I am probably never having any more kids. I am 33 and pregnant with twins I don't think I am going to be rushing off to get pregnant after this! Please! Don't do this!"

J is sitting there looking at me wide eyed. Wondering how I could just write off having anymore kids just like that. Did I mention I was starving? The Dr. decides they don't need to get my blood, they will get my release papers ready. THANK YOU! J talks to me about what had just happened. He does not want me to regret this in the future. I told him the chances of me getting pregnant times the chances of actually having an RH problem, were a chance I was willing to take. Then I thought maybe I had been too rash, but then I decided, if I went to the Dr. and said I do want it checked it's not like it had to be done right then in that horrible and hideous moment of my life. I was confident I could have it done at a later more calm date.

I go to the bathroom, I am bleeding again. I am not going to tell them. I tell J we are not going to tell them that I started to bleed again. I sit and wait and feel a rush of blood. I go to the bathroom, yup, it's quite a bit. I better tell them. I sit in the bathroom and contemplate locking myself in there. Maybe I could climb through one of those tile roof slat things. Maybe? I come out of the bathroom, there sits the nurse (not nurse Betty, there has been a shift change a while ago.)with my discharge papers. I look at her and say, "I am bleeding again." She gets the Dr. and he says, we need to start all over.

I start to cry for the 40th time that day. The Dr. says I will need my blood drawn. J says, "We have been here since noon, can we please get some food?" 3 different people poke me 3 or four times before they call in the tech again. New tech, scary tech. Scary tech comes in and sees I am eating (finally) and says he will be back when I am done. Somehow I am not so hungry anymore. I eat slowly. They didn't bring J anything. I feel guilty for eating, and I am wishing I could enjoy it more. I just want to go home. I have been worrying about the boy and grandma and how they are doing.

The navy seal of blood techs comes in and pokes me several places. Finally he decides the best place is in my wrist. Which by the by, is the most painful place ever to have your blood drawn. They even stuck a IV connector so if they need more blood they don't have to poke me again. Give me strength. She draws what seems like 8 hundred tubes of blood, and the tears continue to flow. They give me another shot of progesterone. The Dr. does a pelvic exam and says my cervix is closed. That's good. At this point I think they realize they have done all they possibly can. I am to sit for an hour and see how much I bleed. J and I play scrabble on our phones. Our phones start to die. The nurse comes in and tells me after all of that, that my blood type is O+. A non issue! *throws confetti* She follows that statement with, "You really need to donate blood." I think I laughed out loud. I couldn't help it. It wasn't a polite chuckle either it was more of a HA! Have you not been here for the last 4 hours or so? We finally walk out of there at about 8:15 at night and we missed the rain storm. The rain storm I have been waiting for all Summer. I think I had my own personal rain storm from my eyes. That was...*sigh*

We get in the car and drive home. I think it will take a whole heck of a lot to get me back there again.

Here are my tips for the ER.

Ask questions, especially if something doesn't sound right. They are trying to get things done quickly for them, they are not thinking about you.

If you are getting an ultra sound drink water, avoid the catheter. Just say no.

If it is a pregnancy related trip to the ER, you are pregnant, and you are getting an ultrasound anyway refuse the HCG bloodwork. Who needs to be poked and bruised to find out "Yup, you sure are pregnant!" Duh.

I find that most of the time, I don't want to be that person. Go ahead and be that person. They don't think of you as a person, they think of you as a hunk of flesh and veins and holes to stick things in. Only you can stand up for yourself. After the fact I learned you can leave at any time you just have to sign a paper that says you are leaving against their advice.

Wait until the next day and go see your regular Dr. then go from there. I went to my Dr. the following day and had an ultrasound a pelvic exam and a blood draw took 40 minutes, and no catheter. Just sayin'

So now, I am on bed rest as they try to wean me from the hormones again. Wish me luck. Bed rest is not so fun. I miss my baby. Everything is OK, just hoping I don't bleed badly anymore. I am accepting all prayers and well wishes in this endeavor. Also, for those of you who are freaked out by the bleeding, it's actually quite common and unless I am bleeding super bad and having horrible cramps I am probably OK. 90% of the time you see a heart beat in an ultra sound the babies are going to be fine. So don't panic, I'm not, unless you come at me with a catheter.

The End.